Unconditional Love: The Only Thing Worth Fighting For

divine-graceAs stated in the The Path to Total FREEdom for ALL blog article, the monetary system (including barter and trade) is responsible for programming us to give or love conditionally, which is the opposite of Unconditional Love or a gift economy. Another term for Unconditional Love is Divine Grace. It is how God loves us. In God’s eyes, we can never do any wrong. We are loved as if all our past mistakes were completely erased freeing us from any judgement, guilt or condemnation and instead only the purest blessing, gift or Love is bestowed upon us without ever needing to earn it. I cannot think of anything else more important now than dedicating our lives to regaining our innate capacity to love without conditions. This is the One true path to Enlightenment or Total FREEdom, the ultimate Awakening of our True Self. Becoming the expression and embodiment of Unconditional Love is the only thing worth fighting for and in certain cases, even worth dying for. It is the most powerful healing force in the Universe.

The Ultimate Expression of Total FREEdom

unconditional love quoteThe ultimate expression of total FREEdom is the ability to be who we truly are which is Unconditional Love. We can never be truly happy by being anything other than who we truly are. Right now most of us are forced to live in a system in which we cannot love each other unconditionally. The monetary system puts many limitations on our ability to share and help each other freely. This is what I refer to as our external prison or form of slavery. All of us are either born into this external system of slavery (or are affected by it) and from the stresses, inequalities, pollution, environmental destruction, corruption, and injustices of the monetary system, an internal system of slavery is created. To undo all this, we need to work from within to without because in order to help free us all from the external prison, we need to free our self from our internal prison, otherwise, we won’t be able to successfully work together to achieve our collective dream of a joyful and healthy world without money and government (see Tribal Living to learn more about how the monetary system created government systems).

The Conditional Love of Divorce

It always pains me to see or hear of marriages ending in divorce among family or friends. My own parents argued and fought so much that when I became a teenager I had wished my mom would divorce my dad, but she never did and stuck with him till the end when he died at the young age of 55 of pneumonia. I realized I had the same pattern in my 20-year marriage with JAL and many times divorce seemed like the easy way out to end all the pain and suffering. Relationships are a convenient way to project onto the other the part of our shadow self that we hate, have disowned, or are ashamed of. It starts with the other doing or saying something that pushes a “button” in us and we automatically get hurt or react with anger. Enlightenment is a state of seeing everyone as equal to you (that we are all One and the same) and a state of having no buttons to push and therefore able to be who we really are which is Unconditional Love. With no buttons, we no longer react, but we can respond intelligently, compassionately and with full understanding. In this state, we are a lot more capable of helping the other instead of making the situation worst for both parties.

conditional-loveDivorce is a way to prevent the other person from pushing your buttons but your buttons are still there for any other person to push so it is just a temporary escape or respite. The lesson and goal of Unconditional Love (the state of no buttons) has not been learned. Divorce is a form of conditional love, essentially saying “I won’t love you because you have hurt me (pushed my own buttons) so I will leave you by breaking my marriage vow.” It’s also interesting to me that the word “vow” is not taken seriously at all with divorce and that you are blaming the other person for your own buttons or past emotional baggage. I do recognize that there are situations in which divorce or separation is needed for the physical safety of yourself or your children. But in most other cases, I feel that we tend to escape rather than use this opportunity to remove our own buttons and free our self first so that we can then help free the other person from their own mental prison. See Monogamy: The Ultimate Path to Spiritual Enlightenment to learn how the esoteric path of marriage can lead to one’s own internal freedom.

Avoiding Responsibility by Blaming

blameThere is this tendency to blame the other person when they have hurt or offended us. Instead of recognizing it as an insecurity, emotional wound, a cry for help, or that you have said or done something to provoke it in the other person, we blame them or get angry or hurt for the offense and see us as the poor “victim”. One always blames the victimizer and not the victim. We usually have compassion for the victim and not the victimizer and see one as “good” or superior and the other as “bad” or inferior as if saying “I am holier than thou.” Blaming others is a way to avoid taking responsibility for your own “buttons” or past trauma or insecurities and to avoid healing them. A good way to avoid blaming is to recognize that we have all been the victimizer as well as the victim in the past (if not in this lifetime then in previous lifetimes). We all make mistakes and we are all imperfect otherwise we would not be here getting into conflicts. The Little Soul & The Sun children’s parable by Neale Donald Walsch, famed author of Conversations With God, illustrates this point so beautifully and explains the whole purpose of our existence with each other on Earth.

The Truth Should Not Hurt

truth-sets-free“The truth hurts” is a common saying to refer to an ugly truth about someone or something. However, in interpersonal relations, the truth should not hurt at all and if it does, then you know that you have believed a lie about yourself. For example, let’s say your husband or wife cheated on you and you felt betrayed and hurt because you believe that they did so because you are not attractive enough or not good enough for them then what you believe about yourself is a lie and not a truth. If someone called you ugly and stupid (or made you feel ugly or stupid by what they said to you or how they said it to you), then if it hurts you or you feel offended, then you believed a lie about yourself not the truth. Because the Truth about yourself is always good and should never hurt. Our goal is to regain this Truth about our self so that we can never be offended or hurt again, always knowing our Truth so we can help others realize their own Truth.

The Truth About Oneness

Trey Abernethy posted in Facebook an excerpt from Joe Vitale’s book Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace, and More:

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients–without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate’s chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person’s illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane?

It didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t logical, so I dismissed the story.

However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho ‘oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn’t let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more.

I had always understood “total responsibility” to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it’s out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We’re responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does. The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility.

His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

“After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely,” he told me. “Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.”

I was in awe.

“Not only that,” he went on, “but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed.”

This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: “What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?”

“I was simply healing the part of me that created them,” he said.

I didn’t understand.

Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life – simply because it is in your life–is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life.

This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy–anything you experience and don’t like–is up for you to heal. They don’t exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn’t with them, it’s with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho ‘oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone–even a mentally ill criminal–you do it by healing you.

I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients’ files?

“I just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ over and over again,” he explained.

That’s it?

That’s it.

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, your improve your world. Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message. This time, I decided to try Dr. Len’s method. I kept silently saying, “I’m sorry” and “I love you,” I didn’t say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance.

Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn’t take any outward action to get that apology. I didn’t even write him back. Yet, by saying “I love you,” I somehow healed within me what was creating him.

I later attended a ho ‘oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He’s now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive. He praised my book, The Attractor Factor. He told me that as I improve myself, my book’s vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve.

“What about the books that are already sold and out there?” I asked.

“They aren’t out there,” he explained, once again blowing my mind with his mystic wisdom. “They are still in you.”

In short, there is no out there.

It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves. Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there’s only one place to look: inside you.

“When you look, do it with love.”

This excerpt is all about the Truth of our Oneness, a Truth that many are getting glimpses of when they are in deep meditation or experience a breakthrough awakening moment. The Truth is that we are all just One giant being that has split Itself apart so it can experience Itself so it makes a lot of sense that each of us created each other so we do have total responsibility for the Whole, as holograms, with each part containing the Whole. With this Truth, it makes no sense to blame others anymore for any personal conflict or problem or any problem in this world. Instead, it should simply motivate us to work together on this physical plane to fix all our own problems. We cannot work together in the spirit of harmony, cooperation and love if we are blaming each other for offenses instead of taking responsibility for healing the part of us that created the offense (i.e., the victim and the victimizer are actually One and the same).


The only way to receive Unconditional Love (or Complete Freedom) is to GIVE or BE Unconditional Love or Complete Freedom because there is really only ONE being in existence in this UNI-VERSE.

A friend of mine Kundan Chhabra asked me in Facebook regarding the above: “How is this different from the “You create your own Reality” teachings or the “It’s all your fault” teachings? What about boundaries? What to do when a boundary has been violated?” The excerpt above from Joe Vitale and my interpretation of it is different from “You create your own reality” because of the way the Law of Attraction (LOA) markets and packages the message as if we were separate, individual entities. To make it less likely to be misinterpreted, I would say “Because we are really One Being that has split itself into Many, we together create the one physical reality we share and therefore we all have equal responsibility (which is total responsibility) for this one physical reality. Since we co-created our current physical reality of Hell on Earth, we can now co-create Heaven on Earth through Unconditional Love (i.e, the awareness of our Oneness or Co-Creation).” As for boundaries, I think that as on as we do our own Unconditional Love or ho ‘oponopono practice, the boundaries will disappear as we embody the paradox of Unity consciousness and Co-Creation simultaneously. With no boundaries, there is no violation. See The Hidden Agenda of the Law of Attraction to learn more.

The Right Path Is Never Easy in the Beginning

do-what-is-rightThere is a common misconception in the New Age movement that teaches people that if things are difficult or not “flowing” in life, that it must be the Universe or God telling us that it is the wrong path. Mainstream religions teach something similar when they teach that God controls our destiny or life so if things are not working out the way we want, it must be that God has other plans for us. In Spanish-speaking countries, people often say si Dios quiere meaning “if God wants or allows it.” The truth is that oftentimes, the right path is the most difficult path in the beginning but once we develop the new good habit, it becomes a lot easier. This can be applied to making positive changes to our diet, establishing a permaculture farm, healing from our past, or simply going through the process of spiritual awakening. The easy path on the other hand, can be easy in the beginning but a lot harder later on as we pay the consequences of our lack of effort, discipline and focus. We become just a passenger of Life instead of taking control of our lives, flowing with the wind in whichever direction it blows. This does not mean that we have to control everything in our life, but it does mean that we need to use discernment and use our creative power wisely to help us evolve and become enlightened for the sake of All.

Lessons for Tribal Living

forgive-to-loveThese very same lessons are also very applicable in tribal living situations in which you are trying to form lifelong bonds between families, couples, or singles. In fact, about 90% of communities fail due to conditional love (Creating a Life Together, 2003). We won’t be able to free ourselves from the monetary system of slavery if we don’t first free ourselves of our own prison of buttons. The antidote to blaming, divorce or separation is to practice Divine Grace (or Unconditional Forgiveness) in which both parties agree to make a conscious effort to rewind the tape of Life and start all over fresh and new, seeing each other with new eyes and agreeing not to bring up or mention each other’s mistakes from the past as that indicates blame and a lack of forgiveness. It will be easier to stop blaming and forgive when you start to recognize your own buttons, take responsibility for your part in the conflict and realize the Truth of our Oneness. Then the act of Unconditional Love for the other will heal not only your own past wounds but also the other person’s as you are in a much better state to help the other realize their own buttons and heal from them through the same practice of Unconditional Love. It just takes one party in the conflict to start this process. Enlisting the help of an enlightened, impartial, or skillful third party can be very helpful as well as doing the Reconnecting Your Holy Trinity method detailed in the Beyond the Earth Matrix: Soul-Harvesting in the Cosmic Matrix & How to Free Yourself blog article.

The Deadly Consequences of UnforgivenessDEADLY CONSEQUENCES: Doctors are recognizing that patients who refuse to forgive often stay sick.”Harboring these negative emotions, this anger and hatred, creates a state of chronic anxiety,” Dr. Michael Barry said.”Chronic anxiety very predictably produces excess adrenaline and cortisol, which deplete the production of natural killer cells, which is your body’s foot soldier in the fight against cancer.”Forgiveness therapy is now being looked at as a way to help treat cancer. Read more here: http://go.cbn.com/1089

Posted by CBN News on Friday, July 17, 2015


forgiveness-freedomRemember that Divine Grace is how God loves us. It is Unconditional Love which is the opposite of what most mainstream religions teach. Most religions teach that God keeps track of everything and will judge you or that you will be punished through the Law of Karma. The truth is that God loves you as if your past does not exist because God understands the current conditions in which humans live. This is exactly what we should do. Unconditional Love should be our one and only True Religion. It will free ourselves from our own mental slavery which will in turn allow us to come together and free each other from our external monetary system of slavery.

“Always remember,” God had smiled, “I have sent you nothing but angels.” ~ The Little Soul & The Sun children’s parable by Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations With God